Saturday, October 17, 2009

Project Runway Meets Moulin Rouge... Only Less Fun

This week's episode of Project Runway was a blur of sequins, feathers, and runaway beads. The designers seemed especially frazzled at the prospect of impressing fashion legend, Bob Mackie, and pop princess, Christina Aguilera (girl needs to lay off the bad haircuts/blindingly bright lipstick/orange faux tan), and it definitely showed in the end results.

The judges were having quite a night themselves, as they blasted one look after the other with some rather harsh (and mostly deserved) comments. I, for one, was highly entertained by the train wreck of an episode.

I was also, unfortunately, pretty disappointed with the final runway looks. This is supposed to be a stage look for Christina Aguilera, people. Have you all seen some of the crazy stuff that girl wears off stage, let alone on it? I can't imagine why people were so safe in their designs. I mean, black is all fine and dandy but where was all the hot pink/bright blue/gold/etc that you can actually use when you're creating a stage costume? There was some sparkle, some feathers, some metallics... But most of it was very blah to me.

Let's get to the runway, shall we?

"You're both thinking she comes out in a pumpkin and then pops out."

Tim Gunn sure hit the nail on the head with that workroom quip about Althea Harper and one of the other designers. What is this big reveal they kept going for? This gorgeous silver dress had a hideously-ugly-feathered-motorcycle-jacket-type thing on top of it when the model first stepped onto the runway. Why? Because Althea wanted there to be a "wow" factor"

Uhm... What? Shouldn't the dress itself be a wow factor? It's supposed to be a stage outfit, is it not? Ridiculous. I was so annoyed by that fuzzy jacket thing that I was hoping her dress (which I do like very much) wouldn't win.

"Irina is actually a really good designer. Her only problem is that she's a bitch."

Ding, ding, ding! Fellow designer, Nicolas Putvinski, was so right about Irina Shabayeva. But just we're clear, Nicolas, it takes one to know one.

Yes, she is a really good designer. Yes, she is really talented. Yes, she usually has great taste. But she freakin' knows it. That's the problem. She knows she's good and assumes no one else can possibly even begin to compare.

Newsflash, Irina. It's really annoying. Get over yourself.

Oh, and your oh-so-amazing dress? Not that impressive. Kinda cute. Kinda sparkly. Mostly it just looked liked upscale lingerie. Or a figure skating costume. Yawn. I'm disappointed. This dress is certainly nothing to write home about. Or brag on national television about. Keep that in mind next time you run your mouth, Irina.

"I just decided to toss it and start all over."

And this is what you came up with? Oh, honey...

As last week's winner, Gordana Gehlhausen certainly needs to thank her lucky stars that she had immunity this week. Otherwise, her massive meltdown in the workroom would have had her packing her bags and heading home. What the hell is this? Some weird crocheted sequin tunic over a flowy evening gown? I don't get it. It's just ugly and unflattering. And what in the world is going on in the boob area? Are those buttons or something? It just makes no sense. None at all. I'm talking epic fail here.

"This is by far the best Project Runway moment ever."

So, Nicolas, this is what you create when your so-called idol is sitting in front of you? Don't get me wrong, it's very nice. It's clearly well-constructed, the concept is very cute, and it looks great on the model and would probably look great on Christina Aguilera... But I'm bored. It also looks just like everything else Nicolas has produced this season. Is he aware that there is a whole broad spectrum of colors out there? You don't have to use white every time, dude. Try something new. It won't hurt. I promise.

And for the love of God, please step away from the flat iron!

Seriously. No flat iron necessary for this limp mess of hair.

"I wouldn't put that on a chorus girl, let alone a star." - Bob Mackie

"This is 1999 in the costume department." - Tim Gunn

"This was tasteless." - Nina Garcia

"You get a big E for effort." - Christina Aguilera (she was impressively sweet to all the designers)

I'm not sure what else I can say about Christopher Straub's poorly constructed, ill-fitting, sad imitation of Christina's Lady Marmalade costume? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Hey, Chris... This is what that costume is supposed look like:

If you're going for that look, go all the way, you know?

"It's a little cavewoman..."

Yes. Yes it is. That cut up fur thing is tacky, as are the chains all over it. The dress isn't tragic... It's a cute little shimmery mini dress and that side seam is kinda cool... But eh. I'm underwhelmed. It just doesn't seem like it fits her very well. I'm digging the metallic zebra print, though. It's definitely fun. I just don't think Logan Neitzel took it far enough. I'm also convinced that the judges keep him around because he's a really great piece of eye candy.

"I think you have a major wow factor here."

Really, Tim? Are you sure? Wow-factor? I'm not sure I would go that far. It's definitely a very nice dress. Unfortunately it's hard to see all the details in photos, but there was a ton of great detail work. Feathers and sequins and all kinds of fun stuff. It fit the model perfectly and really made her waist look teeeeeeeny-tinyyyyyy.

I'm still kinda bored. It's a beautiful dress, no doubt, but I just don't think it's a stage costume. It's a good beginning. Just not...enough.

Either way, the judges outvoted me and decided that Carol Hannah was the winner. Congrats, Carol! Awesome job, especially for someone who's never done anything as over the top as this.

"I just don't know why Shirin is still here. Her design sensibility is very bargain basement."

Actually, no, Irina, it's not. You're just a bitch.

Everything else we've seen from Shirin Askari has been quite lovely. She's won a challenge and been in the top 3 for many others. I'm really sad to see her go... Even though this tragedy of a dress was appropriately described by the judges as unfortunate and dowdy. Heidi refers to it as an upscale Halloween dress and Tim Gunn's assessment that it looks like Guinevere meets Vampira was pretty spot on. He also told her it looks like student work. Ouch.

So, it's auf wiedersehen to Shirin and I, for one, do not agree.

Come on, guys! Chris, sweetheart that he is, has been in the bottom two three times in a row now! This is the first time Shirin has even been in the bottom! What the hell kind of a decision is that? Not cool. Not at all.

So what did you think? Did the judges chose right? And who's super excited for what looks to be like a smackdown between Nicolas and Irina on next week's episode? I know I am!!

P.S. Don't forget you still have time to enter the Maybelline Big Chance Prize Pack! Check it out here!

[photo credits:,]