Friday, January 29, 2010

Fairy Tale Wishes and Greek God Dreams

So, in lieu of the recent Cornell sorority madness, I feel the need to shower a little more love on the Greek system. I'm not a hater, people, I promise.

Anybody watch the ABC Family original series, Greek?

I DO! And, I'm not even ashamed to admit that I love it.

No, like, I really love it. Aside from the fact that the story lines are pretty damn entertaining, I love watching it just to see what my favorite characters are going to wear to the various themed parties that go on throughout the school year.

For example, this week's episode featured a Fairy Tale soiree and the costumes did not disappoint.

This isn't the greatest photo, but if gives you an idea of the fun outfits (I won't even go into the reason the girls are standing around a forest with flashlights and shovels).

The bling and makeup was probably my favorite part of the outfits this time around. I mean, just look at all the fun sparkles on Casey (Spencer Grammar).

Under normal circumstances I would certainly declare this overkill on the sparkly-ness, however if you're going for princess at a costume party? This is definitely the way to go.

Let's talk about Ashleigh (Amber Stevens) and her freakin' awesome eyeshadow. How fun does it look? I can't lie, I kind of wish I could wear this eyeshadow out and not feel like I should be at a costume party.

There's a little more of Casey's gorgeous dress, plus her very own Prince Charming, Cappie (Scott Michael Foster).

And last but not least, here is evil queen, Rebecca (Dilshad Vadsaria) who spends the entire episode spouting off the non-Disney versions of fairy tales and shows up to the party as the villain, which I love. She looks great and I guess if you're gonna go bad, that's the way to do it.

So that was my happy Greek system post and my attempt to pimp out one of my favorite shows. Now go watch it! It's awesome, I promise!

[photo credits:,]

Thursday, January 28, 2010

She'd look good in a potato sack...

Well, I suppose that really depends on the potato sack, doesn't it?

Let's talk about how the second episode of Project Runway brought back my faith that the judges weren't puffing anything illegal when they let these designers on the show.

"Sneaky, tricky Heidi. I don't know if we're going to the moon or to a runway show."

Well, it's not the moon, but it's pretty damn close! It's a... FARM!

In fact, it's so fabulous that Tim Gunn started this episode standing in the middle of a giant field of dirt...wearing jeans!

JEANS, guys!

This is, like, practically epic! It's almost as awesome as when he wore flip-flops on the beach last season!

So, the theory behind this challenge was that these models are so hot they'd look good in anything, even a potato sack. So that's what they got to wear. Potato sacks. I gotta say, these girls are leaning more toward hot mess than anything else, so the designers have their work cut out for them.

"On top of having to make a dress out of a burlap sack, now we have to be wanted."

As an added twist, the models were the "clients" and had their pick of the designers. Mila's model jumped ship and decided to go with another designer, to which she replied: "What am I? Chopped liver?" No, your model is just a bitch. Oh, and your bangs could use some work.

After the mad rush back to the Parson's workroom, the designers all got cracking. There was cutting and bitching and dyeing and laughing... Oh, wait, the laughing was mostly on my part. Because there are crazy people who say things like "burlap is probably as old as Moses." Uhm, sure! Give or take a few centuries, maybe?

Amidst the usual drama, the inevitable time crunch, and Tim's continuous encouragement to "make it work" the designers actually sent some pretty cool pieces down the runway. Some of which I would never have even guessed were made out of burlap.

Here are my favorites of the night:

Anthony really stepped it up after last week. I love this little minidress. It's a great color, it doesn't look like burlap, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out how he did that fabulous swirly thing in the front of the skirt. The vine-like detailing on the front of the dress is great, too. Two thumbs up, Tony.

Emilio certainly didn't slack off, even though he had immunity from this week's challenge after winning last week. The fit is superb, the vertical appliqué is flattering and frankly, it's just really pretty. She looks chic and well-styled. Great look.

Amy was one of the few to leave the burlap looking, well, like burlap... But I'm not sure it matters. I think it looks great. The cowl neck halter top is super flattering, and the dip-dyed edges of the skirt are beautiful. The overall effect is a teeny-tiny bit like Tinkerbell-goes-Woodstock but I'm okay with that. It fits the model really well and it's just a lot of fun.

Does this look like anything even remotely resembling burlap to you? Cause it doesn't to me. Not at all. Frankly, I don't care what it's made of, it's gorgeous. I have no idea how Jay managed to make that skirt look like it was made of feathers, but it's awesome. The blue accents are really pretty and I debated with myself over the raw edges on the top, but in the end I decided that I really like them. And so did the judges, because they declared him the winner. Congratulations, Jay!

There were a few disasters, though. And I think the worst offenders were pretty obvious.

"The garment's not functional, it doesn't cover her ass. I'm worried, but then I look over at Ping and she's laughing. Maybe I shouldn't be worried, because it's supposed to be an ass flap."

Ping, ignoring Tim's good advice, and disregarding any good sense at all, put her model into a potato sack...that still looked like a potato sack. And more importantly, it showed her poor model's ass. Like, the entire ass. The judges were craning their necks to make sure their eyes weren't deceiving them and that really was crack they were seeing. I don't know how Ping has made it to a second week, let alone made it through this second elimination. I just don't get it.

Heidi found herself wondering if Ping was exaggerating her lack of understanding of the English language and I can't help but wonder the same thing. Her flighty attitude is getting old and it's only been two weeks. Time to auf the excess baggage, people.

"Ms. Thing has a big ole butt."

So everyone was super impressed with Pamela's ability to dye the burlap so well. I agree, she did an awesome job of making a potato sack truly look like faded denim. Unfortunately, that begs the question - why the hell would anyone wear a faded denim minidress with leather lacing? It just screams tacky 80's party, doesn't it?

"Here she is, she can wear a potato sack. I have a feeling a plain potato sack would have been more flattering."

You are so right, Michael Kors.

So, there you have it. Poor Pamela has had her last chance on the runway.

Auf wiedersehen, Pamela!

[photo credits:,]

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

To the Pi Beta Phi Sorority at Cornell University...

I am profoundly sorry and offer you my deepest and most sincere sympathies...

Because you have to deal with bitches who send you seven pages worth of rules and regulations that mandate exactly what you can and cannot wear before school even begins.

I was in the middle of my Project Runway recap post for last week's episode when I was forwarded the following link by a friend:

So, this psychotic bitch takes her job as rush chair a little bit too seriously and has set forth a few rules for the girls rushing her très chic sorority house.

This girl has covered everything you'd ever need to know, and just in case you wonder why certain things are forbidden while others are not? Her explanations are typically some form of "I like this, so there."

Here are some of my favorite points:

Skinny or straight-leg jeans are acceptable, as are denim leggings - but only if they're not from American Apparel, and only if they're "done right."

Want to wear a cardigan sweater? Sure! But don't forget to wear it over a longer tank top. Don't get any ideas about cardigans over tee shirts, short tops, or dresses. Against the rules!

She is "weird about shoes" so make sure to "get it right." Flats are awesome, as long as they are Tory Burch (a little out-dated, aren't you, darling?) or the like. Boots must be worn over pants.

As for the ever-popular booties trend? Forget it. You're only allowed to wear them if you can pull them off - "aka, probably not."

Cocktail dresses - totally up to you and your own style... Wait, just kidding!

No spaghetti straps. No sleeveless dresses ("unless you have really good arms"). No satin. Because duh, "no one looks good in satin dresses unless its from Betsey Johnson or Dolce and Gabbana, you weigh less than 130 pounds, have 3 pairs of Spanx on and its New Years Eve" (there are so many issues with this sentence that it gives me a headache).

How about jewelry? Well, you're totally welcome to wear stud earrings, as long as they're diamond or pearl or "something that's just adorable."

Did you get a charm bracelet for your birthday? Don't even try to wear it, unless she says it's beautiful. Watches? Not gonna happen. She's weird about this, too, and she will have the time and will keep you informed, so just deal with it.

Also, if anything comes from Forever 21, you're not allowed to wear it.Don't even try.

She "doesn't tolerate gross plastic shizzz" y'all, so in case you were planning to don those Mardi Gras beads, just throw 'em out the window.

So, what about makeup? Do you at least get to incorporate some tiny sliver of individuality on your own face?


"Your skin is your base," people, if it doesn't look good, nothing else will! Didn't you know that? Blush is not optional. "Weird bronzer" or "too obvious cover-up" is not acceptable. "You don't need to pile on the makeup, but you do need to look like someone they'd die to hang out with!" Uhm... I'm not sure I want anyone dying to hang out with me because of my makeup skills.

Another thing she's weird about? "You need to have color on your life." Uhm... Say what? I'm assuming she means lips, but I can't say for sure... I mean if you're this important, surely you took the time to read over your own document, no?

Your hair should be clean, cut, and freshly colored. Weird accessories will not be tolerated. Don't even try that messy ponytail thing. It just ain't gonna fly.

Oh, and in case you wondering... "You best have a mani pedi when you get to Ithaca" (Cornell is in the town of Ithaca, NY - a place I spent two years of my undergrad education and could not have detested more - it snows EVERY SINGLE DAY guys, I just couldn't handle it!).

A few last tips: wear perfume and" deoderant" (Not even spell-check, honey? Really??). And "get waxed, cut, colored, and groomed!!!!" (FOUR exclamation points - count 'em! One-two-three-four!)
Wow. I have NO words. I never pledged a sorority, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I truly hope that not everyone has to deal with crazy bitches like this.

Click below to check out the full document, page by ridiculous page:

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Back Where They Belong

Season 7 of Project Runway premiered last week and I could just SQUEAL nonstop about the champagne toast on the Atlas rooftop against the backdrop of Manhattan.

"Reunited and it feels soooo good!"

Yep. I went there.

Last season in LA was just SO wrong. I'm sorry, I know LA likes to fancy itself a fashion hot spot... But no. Just no. It doesn't count. They had to pile the contestants into a giant van just to get to Mood for their fabrics, and Tim Gunn has mentioned that it could take up to an hour each way. WTF? Talk about wasting time! Just the fact that Tim Gunn is bad mouthing the season in his own, very proper, very reserved, and undeniably polite way is a bad sign.

Stay out of LA, Heidi! I'm talkin' to you! I hear you're planning to head back there for next season and if you do? I'm really going to have to boycott. (Okay, I'll probably watch, anyway. But, I'm not going to like it!)

No worries. They are back in the fashion district, back at the Parson's work room, and most importantly - our beloved Michael Kors and Nina Garcia are back to sigh, make faces at the contestants, and offer their witty commentary and catty criticisms. All is right with the world.

Actually, there is one thing wrong with the world... So far? I'm super unimpressed with the latest crop of designers.

Amy Sarabi - Why is there an extra cup thing on one of her boobs? I might have liked this if it weren't for that bizarre detail. I kinda like the floaty fabric and the diamond print. I just don't understand the boob thing. At all.

Anna Lynett - This isn't bad, actually... I think it's kind of just safe and sweet. A great dress to keep yourself right in the middle of the pack.

Anthony Williams - I have NO idea where he was going with this. That thing on the side is just... The most bizarre thing ever. One of the judges even mentioned that you could probably smuggle out a bottle of champagne in it and dude... It's totally true! And what is with the tacky as hell flowered fabric choice? Not acceptable.

Maya Luz - this just screams mini-wannabe-Christian-Siriano to me. That thing exploding from her shoulder and chest just doesn't do it for me. Not at all.

Mila Hermanovsky - The print on the inside of the jacket is interesting, and I like how she paired it with a different print on the shirt. I'm not crazy about the skirt, but I think the whole look works together. Nothing special, though.

Pamela Ptak - WTF is this? I like the color, but that's it. I don't like the sleeves, I don't like the length, I don't like the deep-V... I really don't like any of it. Better luck next time, Pam.

Jesse Lenoir - Uhm... Is this a power suit that's completely inappropriate for the office? I hate the fabric. HATE IT. The off-the-shoulder thing is actually pretty cute, but not in that fabric. Not a bad concept, but I just don't get the execution.

Jesus Estrada - It's a chocolate-colored evening gown. With a sheer train in the back. And a bottom half that was literally tacked on as an afterthought. Ugly, tacky, stuck in the 80's. That's pretty much all I can say.

Jonathan Peters - Eh. I'm bored. And I really dislike the way the fabric is shorter in the front. What happens if there's a breeze or something? Just seems like an accident waiting to happen.

Ping Wu - Uhm... Really? Really?? It's a bunch of mismatched fabric draped on a beanpole and wrapped around her head. I don't get it and I don't want to get it. It's just ugly. There's no two ways around it. It's just really freaking ugly.

Seth Aaron Henderson (who looks suspiciously like Keith Richards, no?) - I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure I've seen this dress at Hot Topic. It just seems like something Avril Lavigne might wear in a music video. I was not impressed and I can't figure out why the judges were practically salivating over it.

Jeneane Marie Ceccante - Yawn. I like the semi-sheer top. The skirt is perfectly acceptable. I'm just bored by it.

Jay Nicholas Sario - This could've been a cute little dress... Except for the fact that there are three pom-poms attached to the most inappropriate places possible. Couldn't he have used the extra fabric to, I don't know... Make the damn skirt longer??

Ben Chmura - I can't even explain how much I hate this dress. Seriously. I hate it a lot. My hatred knows no bounds. Why, why, WHY do we need pointy sleeves? The fabric is atrocious and the construction is seriously questionable. Awful on all accounts. Boooooooo.

Christiane King - LOSER! And I think it's pretty obvious why. This dress reminds me way too much of Qristyl Frazier's awful design from last season. Where on Earth would you ever pick those two fabrics to go together? And the whole design just kind of makes it look like she ran out of fabric. Ugh. All around ugly.

Emilio Sosa - WINNER! I'm not in love with this dress, but it's clearly one of the best. The construction was impeccable and it moved really well on the runway. The only thing that throws me is the pattern, it just reminds me of bottle caps for some reason. Other than that, it was a pretty cute dress.

So, that's it. The slightly anti-climactic premiere of Project Runway Season 7.

Congratulations, Emilio! Auf weidersehen, Christiane!

Good luck to the rest of the designers!

[photo credits:]

Ready To Go "Green" With Your Hair?

Is it just me or has everything been going "green" lately? Cars and cleaning supplies and toiletries... Everything. It kind of, just a little, maybe in some way...seems like a big, giant, marketing ploy? There's usually some big, socially conscious, thing people are always pimping. Is going green the latest in a long line of BS?

I'm not sure that I have enough real information about this and I'm certainly no expert, nor do I claim to have done any extensive research on the subject, but I do question the whole "green" concept sometimes.

Regardless of my own personal beliefs, the reality of the situation is that "green" products seem like the future we're in store for, so we may as well jump on the bandwagon now, right?

I have to admit that I am pretty curious about all natural products. I've heard pretty awful things about what all the chemicals in beauty products do to our skin and hair, so I'd be more than willing to give products without all that stuff in them a try.

Enter Louise Galvin Carbon Neutral Beauty, and more specifically, the Natural Shampoo line. Created by celebrity hair colorist, Louise Galvin, this hair care line is made up of formulas that contain no harsh ingredients like sulphates, parabens, silicone, petrochemicals, synthetic fragrances, and polymers. I don't know about you, but I can't say I don't love the sound of not putting all that crap in my hair.

It appears that Louise Galvin has some pretty big celebrity fans that include the lovely Emily Blunt (who's hair I love!) and Sophie Dahl.

The line has specifically formulated products for curly, fine, damaged, and dry hair types so it's pretty much a full spectrum of goodies to try out. There is even a Mother-to-Be, New Mothers, and Baby that is supposed to be gentle enough for newborns. I definitely think I'd love to try these products.

Maybe going "green" really is the way to go.

What do you guys think? Has anyone tried these or other "green" products? I'd love to hear about your experiences!

[photo credits:]

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Evolution of a Fame Whore

Raise your hand if you have been watching The Hills since little miss Lauren Conrad, still LC in my book, hopped into her convertible and said goodbye to her family's mansion overlooking the beach and cruised into a ridiculously posh apartment in LA. *This is me raising my hand*

And how many of you remember cute and bubbly Heidi Montag before her union with uber-sleaze Spencer Pratt? You know, back when she still looked like this...

Now, okay, I know that everyone has insecurities. Everyone dislikes something about their body or their face or whatever the case may be. But I really don't think there was all that much wrong with Heidi. In fact, Stuff Magazine didn't either, which is why they chose to do a spread with her before she went all plastic-surgery-crazy.

Uhm... If I looked like that? I'm pretty sure I wouldn't do a damn thing to my body, but that's just me. Maybe I'm weird.

Apparently, Heidi was pretty content with that body of hers... Until she met her future husband, and all around creepy, disgusting, cheating, sleaze of a man, Spencer. Would you trust this guy?

Cause, I wouldn't! *cough* DOUCHE *cough*

Alright, so, against all better judgement, Heidi gets into a super-dramatic relationship with Mr. Pratt and they spend every other episode of the Hills as butt buddies.

Doing stupid things that stupid, preppy, over-priveleged kids do.

And then The Hills went on summer break. By the time the next season premiered, Heidi was on my screen looking like this...

Hmm... Okay. The hair is a lot blonder. The nose is a lot smaller. Okay, I guess I can handle it. It's not that bad.

Only once I saw her in a low cut shirt, I realized the nose wasn't the only thing she had done. And how do I know this? Because she showed up somewhere looking like this...

Oh. Em. Gee. Those were not there before!

She also tried to become a pop star...

...and started her own clothing line - I believe it was called Trashy Plastic Whores?

She also frequently showed up places looking drunk off her ass, though I'm pretty sure it's just the bizarre dreamy look in her eyes and the collagen-induced pout.

Then, she did the unthinkable and married Satan...

In a dress that drowned her tiny frame and more bling than should ever be allowed on one human being at one time.

They went on to live in wedded bliss until Heidi decided she was bored and wanted babies. So, Spencer compromised (after almost having a vasectomy performed without her knowledge) and got her puppies instead!

Now, the latest "Speidi" drama? Heidi decided she still wasn't happy with her body. So she went back under the knife to have a few little procedures done. Ten, to be exact. In one day. ONE DAY.

And now? She looks like this...


She looks NOTHING like herself anymore. She looks... Like a Barbie. A manly Barbie.

In addition to having more work done on her nose, she had a chin reduction, her ears pinned back, and another breast enhancement - she's now a DDD! And apparently she can't move her face at all since her expression is almost exactly the same on the cover as it is in the second photo. Who actually takes a lesson from the Pamela Anderson Playbook??

I am so disturbed by this I don't even know what else to say. She's a shell of her former bubbly self and I really can't stand the sight of her and that creepy husband of hers.

Enough is enough, Heidi. Please, for the love of God, look in the mirror and stop the madness before you end up looking like a certain recently-deceased pop star.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I Forgot About Princess Lea

In the midst of my Golden Globes ranting and praising I completely forgot one of my favorites of the night! I feel the need to give credit where credit is due and I've got to say... Ms. Lea Michele brought it in Oscar de la Renta. It was, by far, the biggest, most princess-y dress of the night.

I love it. It's gigantic and fun and something I imagine my daydreaming eight-year-old self would dream of wearing to some glamorous party one day. The ruching of the bodice is so pretty and it fits her beautifully. I think the sweetheart neckline adds a little extra sass, too. Hair and makeup complimented the dress, rather than fighting for attention, and all in all this was a pretty awesome red carpet debut.

Also... I have to give an honorary mention to the always gorgeous, always risk-taking Olivia Wilde, for going the complete opposite of princess-y with this rock star look.

She wore a pretty fabulous gunmetal Gucci and looked spectacular in it. I like that she never looks like anyone else on the carpet. I also love the hair and makeup. Thumbs up, Olivia!

A Golden Evening: Take Two

So, you saw my least favorite outfits of the night in the last post. But are you ready for the ones that didn't disappoint? Well, even if you're not, I'm ready to tell you!

Here we go...

Ginnifer Goodwin in Vionnet and Neil Lane jewels. Do these photos just look like they could have come straight out of an advertising campaign? The dress, the makeup, the hair... Even holding that umbrella. All of it works beautifully. I don't usually love any kind of draping that gives you those artificially large hips, but I think it works on this dress.

Penelope Cruz in Giorgio Armani Prive and Chopard jewels. Helllooooo old Hollywood glamour! I'm not even sure what I can say aside from she looks beautiful! Her figure looks amazing and the lace at the top just adds an extra touch of femininity that I adore. Soft waves and makeup finish off the look perfectly.

Diane Kruger in Christian Lacroix, Sergio Rossi pumps, and Chanel jewels. I cannot say enough glowing things about this dress. The top half just looks like a work of art, and the color is absolutely my favorite of the entire night. The fabric looks like it's just floating on air, even if the cut of the skirt isn't my favorite. I love the light makeup and simple hair, too. It really let's the dress be the star.

Also, let's talk about her best accessory...

The most adorable umbrella-holder ever, and Diane's longtime boyfriend, Joshua Jackson! Le sigh. Yes, that is my high-school heart doing flip-flops over my love for Pacey.

Christina Hendricks (AKA Real-Life Jessica Rabbit) in my favorite Project Runway winner, Christian Siriano. How gorgeous is she? I like the giant ruffle, and I think the whole effect is so great that I'm ignoring the slightly wrinkled fabric. Those earrings are gorgeous, as well. The makeup is my favorite part. I haven't figured out how she manages to have the most amazing skin on the planet, but also how she manages to always wear fabulous red lipstick as a redhead. I'm truly impressed. Can I also say how nice it is to see her owning those serious curves? You go, Christina. I can't wait for Mad Men to come back!

Drew Barrymore in Atelier Versace, a Roger Vivier clutch, and Lorraine Schwartz jewels. Okay, I'm completely ignoring those weird pouffy things coming off the side and on her shoulder. I love the rest of the dress so much that I just don't care that those things are there. The champagne silk chiffon is so pretty and it fits her perfectly, I think she looks amazing.

Christina Aguilera in Versace. Can I hand out a "Most Improved" award? Because, let me tell you, I have not seen Christina look this soft and lovely in a long time! I'm actually really excited about it! The hair and makeup is perfect, the dress is girly and floaty while being a little edgy with the silver bustier... I just love it all around.

Okay, I have one more person to talk about... I debated with myself about whether or not she belonged on the worst dressed portion of my post, but in the end I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt since I love her as an actress and she made up for her Red Carpet FAIL by an awesome after party dress.

Chloe Sevigny in Valentino and a Roger Vivier clutch. I don't know... It's not bad at this angle. At some angles, though, it just made her look huge. I do like the way it flowed as she moved. It's a very pretty color, too. Unfortunately, an usher stepped on her train as she was on her way up to the stage to accept her award. Big no-no. Thankfully, she had a backup for the after party.

I love it! I wish she'd worn this on the red carpet! It comes straight from the Christian Lacroix Fall 2009 Couture show and it just looks fabulous and fun. Congrats, Chloe, on the Golden Globe and on that fabulous party dress. Hope you had a blast!

So, that's it folks. My favorites of the night.

What do you think? Am I crazy? Did I miss someone you absolutely adored? Let me know!