Tuesday, January 26, 2010

To the Pi Beta Phi Sorority at Cornell University...

I am profoundly sorry and offer you my deepest and most sincere sympathies...

Because you have to deal with bitches who send you seven pages worth of rules and regulations that mandate exactly what you can and cannot wear before school even begins.

I was in the middle of my Project Runway recap post for last week's episode when I was forwarded the following link by a friend:

So, this psychotic bitch takes her job as rush chair a little bit too seriously and has set forth a few rules for the girls rushing her très chic sorority house.

This girl has covered everything you'd ever need to know, and just in case you wonder why certain things are forbidden while others are not? Her explanations are typically some form of "I like this, so there."

Here are some of my favorite points:

Skinny or straight-leg jeans are acceptable, as are denim leggings - but only if they're not from American Apparel, and only if they're "done right."

Want to wear a cardigan sweater? Sure! But don't forget to wear it over a longer tank top. Don't get any ideas about cardigans over tee shirts, short tops, or dresses. Against the rules!

She is "weird about shoes" so make sure to "get it right." Flats are awesome, as long as they are Tory Burch (a little out-dated, aren't you, darling?) or the like. Boots must be worn over pants.

As for the ever-popular booties trend? Forget it. You're only allowed to wear them if you can pull them off - "aka, probably not."

Cocktail dresses - totally up to you and your own style... Wait, just kidding!

No spaghetti straps. No sleeveless dresses ("unless you have really good arms"). No satin. Because duh, "no one looks good in satin dresses unless its from Betsey Johnson or Dolce and Gabbana, you weigh less than 130 pounds, have 3 pairs of Spanx on and its New Years Eve" (there are so many issues with this sentence that it gives me a headache).

How about jewelry? Well, you're totally welcome to wear stud earrings, as long as they're diamond or pearl or "something that's just adorable."

Did you get a charm bracelet for your birthday? Don't even try to wear it, unless she says it's beautiful. Watches? Not gonna happen. She's weird about this, too, and she will have the time and will keep you informed, so just deal with it.

Also, if anything comes from Forever 21, you're not allowed to wear it.Don't even try.

She "doesn't tolerate gross plastic shizzz" y'all, so in case you were planning to don those Mardi Gras beads, just throw 'em out the window.

So, what about makeup? Do you at least get to incorporate some tiny sliver of individuality on your own face?


"Your skin is your base," people, if it doesn't look good, nothing else will! Didn't you know that? Blush is not optional. "Weird bronzer" or "too obvious cover-up" is not acceptable. "You don't need to pile on the makeup, but you do need to look like someone they'd die to hang out with!" Uhm... I'm not sure I want anyone dying to hang out with me because of my makeup skills.

Another thing she's weird about? "You need to have color on your life." Uhm... Say what? I'm assuming she means lips, but I can't say for sure... I mean if you're this important, surely you took the time to read over your own document, no?

Your hair should be clean, cut, and freshly colored. Weird accessories will not be tolerated. Don't even try that messy ponytail thing. It just ain't gonna fly.

Oh, and in case you wondering... "You best have a mani pedi when you get to Ithaca" (Cornell is in the town of Ithaca, NY - a place I spent two years of my undergrad education and could not have detested more - it snows EVERY SINGLE DAY guys, I just couldn't handle it!).

A few last tips: wear perfume and" deoderant" (Not even spell-check, honey? Really??). And "get waxed, cut, colored, and groomed!!!!" (FOUR exclamation points - count 'em! One-two-three-four!)
Wow. I have NO words. I never pledged a sorority, so I can't speak from personal experience, but I truly hope that not everyone has to deal with crazy bitches like this.

Click below to check out the full document, page by ridiculous page:


CosmoFreakaLeak on January 27, 2010 at 1:28 AM said...

omg this is unreal!! I could only view the first and the last pages for some reason but OMG is this bitch serious??? Someone needs to knock her out lol

leelee on January 27, 2010 at 9:56 AM said...

Seriously! I know that some dress code requirements are normal...it's just the way this girl went about it... I'd LOVE to see some photos of her so I can approve her outfit! UGH!

Also, I think I fixed the problem with the other pages so you should be able to see them now! :)

Perfectly Imperfect on January 27, 2010 at 6:34 PM said...

I am so disgusted right now. Who does she think she is, the Anna Wintour of Ithaca?

amanda14367 on January 27, 2010 at 8:33 PM said...

You know, I was going to come visit you in April, but now that I think on it... I don't think I approve of your dress code, Leelee. As a result, I can not be your friend. If you'd like to fix this error, please refer to Page 18, Rule 4, paragraph B of the friendship handbook!

leelee on January 27, 2010 at 10:15 PM said...

Perfectly Imperfect - I think that's exactly who she thinks she is! I bet Anna has better grammar and spelling skills, though! :)

Amanda, my darling, I love you. Even if you can't be my friend any longer.

Jen on February 15, 2010 at 10:54 AM said...

Pi Beta Phi is one of the "best" sororities on school campuses. Dressing appropriately is important for any occassion. They are dressing for 1 week in membership selection or "rush". What would you wear to an interview? What would people say if Michelle Obama wore a tube top and flip-flops at a White House dinner? I'm sure Barak and her stylist would b#### slap her.

leelee on February 15, 2010 at 11:07 AM said...

Hey Jen - I do actually completely understand the need for a dress code, especially for the one-week of rush events. If Michelle Obama showed up in a tube top and flip flops... There would definitely be a slap heard round the world lol. I think the main problem with this list of rules is the girl writing it. She comes off as pompous, pretentious, and just plain obnoxious. Inserting little comments like how she is "weird" about this or that and then stating that because of that people need to take extra care just kind of rubbed me the wrong way.

I don't know... I really don't have anything against sororities, but if a job I was interviewing for had to give a seven page detailed explanation of what I could and could not wear to the interview? I'm not sure I'd want that job.

Anonymous said...

This disgusts me. On behalf of myself, my sisters of Pi Beta Phi, and most other sororities, I would like to ensure you all that this is NOT what being in a sorority is about. Yes, it's extremely important during rush to look your best because you want to make a great impression. However, looking "perfect" and fake would intimidate almost any potential new member. No one wants to join a house in which they will feel intimidated and subpar everyday. TOO MUCH PRESSURE. Whoever wrote this has the wrong idea of what rush is about. Ill admit it, appearance is a factor during rush. Most girls won't want to join a sorority full of slobs. However, joining a sorority means joining a sisterhood. You must be LOVE the girls because once you join a sorority, you are forever a member. This bitch really shouldn't be concerned with the way her active members look. She should be concerned about her personality because it sounds to like it SUCKS. She is the reason why many people think joining a sorority is superficial and shallow. I'll tell you it's not. Its about friendship, loyalty, philanthropy, personal and community development, and leadership. I'd like to thank her for being a superficial bitch and making us all look bad.

leelee on April 2, 2012 at 10:47 AM said...

I think that most people do understand that the vast majority of sororities are not like this - otherwise why would so many people be a part of this type of organization? And yes, obviously appearance is always going to be a factor - as much as we like to pretend that it's not, let's just be honest - this is definitely outrageous. It's nice to hear from people in the Greek system who agree that this is pretty outrageous and it's also good to know that you guys aren't all ego-maniacal crazy girls :) Thanks for your thoughtful comments!

Anonymous said...

Everyone needs to calm down. This is reasonable. The Panhellenic Council sets strict rules on most University campuses regarding dress rules, appropriateness, and matching. If you do not abide by theses strict rules, the sorority may get an infraction, resulting in a chapter not being able to meet quota. When it boils down to it, a sorority is a business, a business hosted and run by a large group of woman preparing to be the best versions of themselves, especially during recruitment so they may attract more smart and respectable girls hoping to make a positive impact on their lives. It is obvious that most of you are not in a sorority or you would understand how important appearance and etiquette are during rush and recruitment, actually in life. It may not seem fair and it may sound bitchy, but making sure a group of 100+ 20 something year old girls look presentable takes a great level of strictness and determination. This group of girls will be representing 150 year old letters and their meaning at a university. Sorry you guys didn't get a bid :/