Monday, January 18, 2010

A Golden Evening

The 2010 Golden Globes felt like...well, to be honest, a little bit like my prom.

There was pouring rain, deflated hair, damp hemlines, crowded tables, and the cool kids won Prom King & Queen... And way too many tacky prom dresses for me to deal with.

Oh, such fond memories...

Seriously, was it just me, or did a few people head straight to the Seventeen Magazine Prom Issue to pick out their dresses?

There were some gorgeous dresses, yes, but I found myself pretty underwhelmed by a lot of the Hollywood All Stars.

Fergie in Elie Saab. There's nothing wrong with this dress. I enjoy the color, it makes her waist look teeny-tiny, the fabric flows nicely... I'm just... Eh. I'm pretty sure her best accessory was that super-yummy husband of hers, Josh Duhamel. I'm disappointed, Fergie-Ferg.

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci with Fred Leighton jewels.

WOW, she has NO SHAPE in this dress. It just goes straight up and down and no amount of ruching, ruffles, or gratuitous bows can help. And while the color is very pretty, I don't think it's very pretty on her. It just blends in with her skin too much. At least her hair isn't blonde anymore. Then everything would have blended. Oy.

Cameron Diaz in Alexander McQueen and Ferragamo heels. I like the color, I like the heels, I loathe and detest the shoulder area. The cap sleeves made her look so broad on stage that I can't even remember a word she said, I was just staring at her massive shoulders. Also, how about a necklace or some nice earrings? You look boring. Even in the brightest red you could find. That's a problem.

January Jones in Lanvin, Brian Atwood heels, and Neil Lane jewels. January, darling, I love you. No, I really do. You are stunning on Mad Men. You usually make me so happy at award shows. You literally stopped the show at the 2009 Emmy Awards with your appearance on the red carpet. What is this? The shape is so...BLAH. It looks marginally better when you turn to the side and I appreciate that ruffle/bow thing you have going on... But other than that? Not feeling it. And that headband... If you had just pushed it back a little bit? It would have been SO MUCH BETTER.

Anna Kendrick in Marchesa and a Judith Leiber clutch. Let me start by saying how much I love Anna. I have loved her since she was a ruthless, part-steeling, stalker-ish, all-around-awesomely-evil teenager in Camp. I think she's adorable and can hold her own in every interview I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I think this is just way too much dress for her. Maybe the ruffle is too big, maybe the train is too long... It looks kinda heavy, too... I don't know. Whatever the case may be, I just wasn't a fan. But I still love you, Anna! I'll totally be your BFF!

Tina Fey in Zac Posen. From the waist up - adorable. The rest of it, including the giant bow shoes - WTF IS THAT? I have nothing else to say besides I hate it. Oh, and it looks like a lamp shade.

Sandra Bullock in Bottega Venetta. Congratulations on your win, Sandra, you truly deserved it. And I was almost with you on this dress. The color is stunning. You look beautiful, your hair is lovely, the makeup was very well done, and those earrings are great. But the dress itself... Why is it shiny? Why can I see you whole leg through it? Is it just a little leg-peeking-see-through? Or is the whole thing more see-through than we can tell? I like the top part, and the sheer back is cute... But this is definitely a prom dress. No doubts about it.

Alright, there you have it. My biggest disappointments of the night. What do you think?

Stay tunes for the stars that, in my humble opinion, actually got it right!