Sunday, November 1, 2009

Bore me to death, why don't you?

I have been so bored by Project Runway lately!

Where are the dazzling gowns à la Christian Siriano?

Not to mention that the boy knew how to use a flat iron, unlike this season's Nicolas.


Sorry, Nicolas, no contest! Besides, you have yet to declare yourself a "hot tranny mess" so Christian wins by default.

Where's the fabulous commentary that entertains me as much as Santino Rice's immitation of Tim Gunn going to Red Lobster with fellow contestant Andreeeeeee??

Where are the outrageous personalities and crazy clothes to match like those from Austin Scarlett and Chris March?

Ugh. I mean, come on people... Do something besides bickering and making mediocre clothes!

Seriously, this week was... Disappointing. To say the least. Let's take a look, shall we?

The designers had to make pieces to accompany their various winning looks of the season. I'm not sure some of them understood this concept, but let's see what came out of it anyway...

Irina made us a lovely sweater jacket with a really tacky, skin-tight brocade mini-dress thing. Love the sweater, I would probably wear that myself, but the dress underneath was just... Cheap and ugly. At least it fit in with her winning look from episode 10. She understood the challenge, so thumbs up for her. Thumbs down for the bitch factor. Stop it, already. You're talented, we get it. But you're really not the most amazing designer ever. Get over yourself.

Oh, Gordana... What can I even say about this? Your re-fashioned wedding dress was adorable and chic... This is not. The proportion doesn't work and the fit is atrocious. The color is... Boring. The jacket just looks... Unfinished. I like you. I really do. I cheer when you knock it out of the park and I feel sad when you screw up. This is a problem. Step it up or you're on the chopping block next week and since the judges seem to love Christopher for some reason, I have the feeling you'll be the one to get the auf.

Speaking of Christopher...

A mildly cute dress with a down comforter sticking out of the bottom... It doesn't work. I loved your winning red carpet dress. It was sexy, fun, and flirty. You could see the amount of work that went into it... With this? Okay, you connected it with those petal-ruffle things... I get the idea. I just don't like it. The top of the dress doesn't fit her well at all. It's too plain. The balance of the dress doesn't work because of all the crap at the bottom and that white stuff is just... The wrong color, the wrong fabric, and definitely the wrong concept. It looks like two different dresses stuck together. Not cool. How in the world have you survived this long? I don't get it. I feel like you're a nice guy, I really do. I have no problem with you. But your design skills are questionable sometimes. Get it together.

Carol Hannah - I love you. This dress is cute and bubbly and adorable, just like you. It's simple and flattering and even though I'm not sure it really fits in with your winning Christina Aguilera look, I really like it anyway. Good job. I have nothing to complain about with you. (I'm also okay with the fact that you keep making dresses... So what? I'm not particularly impressed with any of the pants anyone has made so far so maybe they should all start doing dresses, too? Just a thought...)

Okay, Althea... The judges were clearly on crack when they declared you the winner of this challenge. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? Did you decide that since Malvin was sent home after making those creepy chicken-thigh pants that you could recreate them and do it better? Why would that be a good idea? Ugh. I don't get it. That model is stick thin and the pants are not flattering. I don't know why all the judges went gaga over this but just... Ugh. Also, the strappy tank top thing underneath? It looks cheap. It looks like I could have gotten it at Rainbow or some other equally trashy store. And why is your model incapable of wearing a bra? They do make strapless ones, you know... I don't want to see her giant boobs flopping down the runway. I just don't. I'm sorry. I'm glad that the model has a body and isn't just a skeleton, but shit. You can see her chest through the shirt, no two ways around it. That is a PROBLEM. In fact, you had the exact same problem with your winning look and I still haven't figured out why none of the judges have said anything. Really annoying.

I do like the sweater. It looks comfy and cute. But I'm not that impressed and I certainly wouldn't pick this as the winning look.

Poor Logan... I just don't think you get it at all. The judges called it a little Judy Jetson and I have to agree. How does this connect to your winning kind-of-okay-look? I don't see it at all. It looks kind of like you took the top of a Halloween costume, threw on a bunch of random zippers, and paired it with a skirt from a prom dress. Then you chopped off the bottom of the prom dress skirt and ended up with a pouffy mini-skirt. Awesome! Or not. Sorry, Logan, I'm not feeling it and neither were the judges.

So, unfortunately... It's bye-bye eye-candy! Auf wiedersehen, Logan. It's been nice... Looking at you?

What do you guys think? Anyone else bored with this season? Let me know in the comments!

[photo credits:,]