Crazy Colors Reign Supreme at the Teen Choice Awards

So, the Teen Choice Awards were last night...

Yeah, I'm officially inching toward my late twenties and I still pay attention to the Teen Choice Awards. So what?

Don't judge me.

It's only okay when I judge everyone else! Well, okay, not really. But I do find it entertaining to judge celebrity fashion... mostly because with the amount of money and access to stylists they have so many of them still show up looking like hot messes. It legitimately boggles my mind.

Like... How do you look in the mirror wearing this:

And think, "Damn. I look goooooooooooooood!"

Please note the matching yellow mani-pedi Tyra got for the occasion. Yikes.

Apparently the crazy was making the rounds among the TCA attendees, cause our dear Fergie showed up lookin' like a bumble bee at a 4th of July celebration:

 

Also, since when did the 90's bleached blonde + an inch of black roots thing come back into style? Her hair looks damaged and fried and it does nothing but age her.

Know what must be pretty great, though?

Being young, gorgeous, and rich on a red blue carpet with your BFF! But, for the love of God, can somebody please tell me why there is so much extra fabric on these dresses?? I mean, clearly they were on par with whole yellow-theme of the night... But seriously. 

The sash on Selena Gomez's Erin Featherson dress is not only impractical, it just looks kinda like it was supposed to be a sash, but she forgot to tie it around her waist, no? It's also blocking the view of her adorable Brian Atwood Betsy sandals.

Way too cute to block.

And Demi Lovato's BCBG Maz Azria Lace Over Mullet dress could be really cute and fun. I suppose. If there wasn't a TAIL on it. I mean, the word "mullet" is in the name! It's not a good look for hair, so why would you put it on a dress??

I've got to hand it to her on the shoes, though.

Looks like they're custom Christian Louboutin Jenny Knotted Platform Pumps to match her dress. Basically, they're fabulous. Bonus points for those.

So, it's no secret that I'm kind of in love with Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family. It's a guilty pleasure freakin' awesome show and I basically live for slightly insane styling that happens on it. So, the Pretty Little Liar who's sanity I question the most (Aria ~ he might not be your teacher anymore but that does NOT make it legal) AKA Lucy Hale showed up in a surprisingly fun Cengiz Abazoglu Sequin Cutout dress.

And then she turned around... and this happened:

Yep. We are dangerously close to seeing ass crack.

Mildly disturbing.

Luckily for us, there were a few more angelic figures at the show to tame things down a little bit.

Rachel Bilson, I love you. Do you ever not look adorable?

Perfect hair, understated makeup, super cute Chloe Resort dress (it's actually mint green, but it's kind of hard to tell in the photos), and awesome Brian Atwood studded shoes (I can't even stand booties pretty much...ever. But I LOVE these).

I just love it all.

Can I just be you? Just for one day? Cause that would be cool. Let's arrange it, 'kay? Or, if not... Can we be friends? That would be seriously cool, too.

Hmmm. Dear Taylor Swift... Normally I think you do award shows pretty well. I'm not sure sure about this one...

Kind of awkwardly tight around the bust... Marilyn-Monroe-esque full circle...

Seems a little bit like a Vegas showgirl in a White Wedding spectacular, doesn't it? Not sure I can approve of this Rafael Cennamo dress.

I can, however, approve of the super sparkly Ranjana Khan diamond-encrusted belt.

Also, really cute Fendi bow pumps. How do I get my hands on either of these?

Oh, right. Become a multi-platinum singer/darling of America.

I'm on it.

No worries, Taylor. I love you anyway. My friend and I even saw you in concert and loved every second. Except the part where we were surrounded by thirteen year old girls and their moms. That was a little sad.

Moving on.

The awards were hosted by Kaley Cuoco. Who showed up in a lamp shade. Or bed ruffle. Maybe something in between.

Yeah... I don't really get it.

She had me from the waste up though. I think the top of the dress, as well as her hair and makeup look fantastic.

I love the undone beachy waves and the smudgy eye-makeup that makes her eyes practically glow. The pop of pink in the lip color is super fun and flattering on her.

I really do just wish her dress wasn't made of those silly layers.

Okay, I have one more outfit I need to point out from last night.

Everyone's favorite Upper East Sider, Ms. Serena Van Der Woodsen herself in Gucci Resort:

Uhm... It's orange. And leather. It's ORANGE LEATHER. And kind if ill-fitting? Girl has got a body that is literally to-die-for and this somehow... hugs it the wrong way? Maybe? I don't know. But I can't stand it.

And that is not me being jealous over the fact that she's dating Leonardo DiCaprio. I don't even care about that.

Just because I've shared a deep, meaningful connection with him ever since I first saw that floppy blonde hair and adorable grin on Growing Pains doesn't mean anything.

There is no bitterness.

I'm serious.

Okay. Whatever. Maybe a little bitterness.

But back to Blake Lively. You are a stunning girl. You're so much better than this.

P.S. Great jewelry and hair, as always.

P.P.S. Say hi to Leo for me, 'kay? Thanks!

[photo credits: justjared.buzznet.com, coolspotters.com]