Haute Joaillerie, anyone?

Apparently the exquisitely designed, meticulously hand-crafted works of art that flounce up and down the runways of the Paris couture shows are no longer enough to be considered "ultra luxury."

Uhm, what? Dresses that cost more than a down payment on a house aren't enough?

These are not enough? Are you going tell Valentino that, or am I?

(P.S. Anybody else recognize that red dress on the end as the one I drooled over on Emma Watson when she did Vogue Italia? Love it!)

Well, according to the Fédération de la Couture Française (is that a mouthful or what?) the "union of two exceptional 'savoir-faire' will create a real luxury week."

I'm sorry, were the clothes, bags, and shoes not already a 'real' luxury?

Apparently adding jewelry, oh...pardonnez-moi, I meant joaillerie, to the mix is the one thing that will elevate croc overalls to the 'real' luxury level.

So, what is haute joaillerie you ask?

Well, basically, it's super ornate, ridiculously expensive jewelry that on the über wealthy can even think about purchasing.

For example...

Reines et Rois by Christian Dior Joaillerie:

La Broche Camélia Paraïba by Chanel Joaillerie:

Rose gold, diamond, and pastel pink sapphire necklace by Chopard Haute Joallerie:

And my personal favorite: A white gold & diamond choker from the Audemars Piguet Carnet de Bal Haute Jaillerie Set:

This baby took over 500 hours of hand work and contains 1,039 diamonds. Yep, you red that right. 1,039 diamonds. Must be nice, huh?

The fact that I didn't find any prices for any of these items is the scariest part.

The jewels will be available for everyone's viewing pleasure... Oh, wait... No they won't. You can see them by appointment only. How does one get an appointment? Do you have to flash a black Amex card? Show them your most recent bank statements? Invite the designers to your private chateaux for a weekend of pampering? Seriously. I would love to know. Somebody should find out and get back to me on that ASAP.

In the mean time? I'll stick to my costume jewelry and let these crazies pretend like the world isn't going through an economic disaster right now.

[photo credits: polyvore.com, universe-of-luxury.com, independent.co.uk, watches.infoniac.com]

XOXO to the Gossip Girl Stylist

As it turns out... Going back to grad school takes up WAY MORE time than I actually have. As a result my poor DVR is filled to the brim with episodes of all my favorite shows. Unfortunately for work and school, but fortunately for my sanity (though not my head - coughing up a lung can give you quite the headache!), I've been pretty sick during the last week and I've had a little extra time to catch up on my shows.

YAY! Oh, Gossip Girl, how I've missed you!

And I've missed talking about all the fabulous fashion! If I were to talk about each and every single outfit I loved or hated over the last five episodes this post would be excruciatingly long cause let's face it... Right along with all the dazzling dresses and amazing accessories there were quite a few less-than-stunning failures (cough-Jenny-cough-Vanessa).

So instead of driving myself crazy with everything I didn't like, I'm just going to stick to what I did like! So here we go!

Here's Blake Lively in a gorgeous Nanette Lepore 'Darjeeling' dress.

Definitely looks better on Blake, no? Guess having an actual body as opposed to being a human clothes hanger has it's upside, huh? Either way, I love it. But, I don't love the $378 price tag. Boooooo!

My next favorite look is Blake again, but this time it's the dress she wore to Lily Van Der Woodsen's (fifth) wedding.

Seriously. She absolutely killed it in this J. Mendall Fall 2008 sexy, strapless, and flowing gown. Those Louboutins and MCL by Matthew Campbell Laurenza bangles certainly polish off the look perfectly. The signature messy hair always looks great as well. Love it!

My last favorite look comes from the same episode (Rufus Getting Married) and this time it's on Leighton Meester.

How beautiful is this 'Red' Valentino Dress?

The color and appliqué detailing is exquisite. It's pretty much everything you'd expect from a Valentino. Can you tell I have a small obsession with his dresses? I can't help it, though! They're gorgeous!

Also, how about the accessories she had??

A vintage-style Juicy Couture bracelet ($128) and a Paige Gamble Bronze Alligator and Smoky Quartz Clutch ($2800). Just perfect.

Can this show's stylist please come be my friend? PLEASE??

[photo credits: gossipgirlfashion.net, cwtv.com, valentino.com]

Newsflash Rachel Zoe... I don't care what you have to say.

Early this morning I got a nice little surprise in my inbox. HauteLook sent me a lovely message detailing an exclusive look at the latest Fall Trends from Rachel Zoe.

Uhm... I am supposed to care because...?

I am not a fan of Rachel Zoe. I think the woman has a few good ideas that she has been milking for years and it's really grating on my nerves. The messy-hair-over-sized-sunglasses-boho-layers-too-much-jewelry-larger-than-life-size-bag look is all fine and dandy - if you want to spend your life looking like an Olsen Twin. And let's face it, they're billionaires. They can do whatever they want. Everyone else? Eh. It's not nearly as interesting when we do it (frankly, it's hardly all that interesting when they do it).

So when our dearest Ms. Zoe pimps this look out to each and every starlet she styles? All I can do is roll my eyes, groan, and wonder why the hell she gets paid as much as she does to do this for a living.

But maybe I'm being too harsh. After all, so many celebrities trust her with their supremely important images. Maybe she knows what she's talking about and I just don't get it?

Let's break down her fall trends, shall we?

First up we have Maxi Dresses.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but maxi dresses seem a little more like a summer thing, no? I guess I could see them for fall as well if you live in California or some place equally lovely all year round. Even in New England, if you like 'em, wear 'em. That's pretty much it. But what I don't like about her little excerpt here is that she states something that WE ALREADY KNOW. Why is this a new fall trend? Has she given us a new perspective? Nope. We all dream about tropical getaways, Rachel. The difference is that not all of us can hop on a private jet and head to St. Tropez whenever we want.

Next, we've got Dark Denim.

Uhm... Does dark denim EVER go out of style? I think it's a pretty well-known fact that you can dress denim up or down. Again, nothing new here, Rach. Though, I'm mildly impressed that you mention flare-leg jeans instead of skinny jeans. Way to think on your own - thumbs up!

Moving on to Statement Necklaces.

I'm a huge fan of statement necklaces and have been for years. Years being the key word here. YEARS, RACHEL! We've all known for years that you have a penchant for piling on the accessories like it's your job - oh wait, it IS your job...

Coco Chanel cleverly advised people to take one thing off before leaving the house, so as not to be over-accessorized... Might I suggest that you take off about five things every time you walk out the door? That might help just a little bit. Less is more, honey. Not the other way around.

What else? Sequins, of course! Oh, and don't forget the Jewel Tones.

Love sequins! I'm with you, Rachel. I love bedazzling of any kind (except the kind J.Crew does and tries to charge me like $500 bucks for!) and I think kiddies look especially adorable with a little sparkle... But what else is new? Seriously. This could be on any trend list for the last few decades! TRY SOMETHING NEW.

And jewel tones? Really? Plums and emeralds? When have you ever heard someone say to avoid jewel tones? We know they look good. We know they're fun. We know they pop. So tell me why I should care that you're talking about them!

By the way, they cannot "literally make an outfit." Trust me. The colors plum and emerald cannot, in fact, make you an outfit. They can't design it, they can't sew it, they can't even recommend the right kind of jeans for you body shape. You are supposed to be a professional. Try speaking like one.

Just so we're clear - I use the word "literally" incorrectly all the time, but in general conversation with friends, not in published work! UGH!

Alright, that's my Rachel Zoe rant.

Wait, I thought of one more thing...

EAT SOMETHING. PLEASE. For the love of everything holy, you look like a skeleton and have aged yourself about thirty years. This is not pretty. It's not sexy. It's SCARY.

There. Now I'm finished.

So, what do you guys think of her?

[photo credits: hautelook.com, themocialite.wordpress.com]

The Key To My Heart

I am a little bit in love with the current key craze going on. I probably have four or five different necklaces that involve keys somewhere on them and I always get compliments on them so apparently I'm not the only one who's hopping on that particular bandwagon.

Even my favorite Upper East Siders are joining in on the fun.

Okay, first off... LOVE Blair's outfit. The yellow Diane von Furstenberg Marcelo wrap top is gorgeous and looks great with the Vince Fingerprint pencil skirt - not an outfit I ever thought I would go for, but hey, there's a first time for everything, right? I don't even hate Serena's tunic dress thing or crazy shoes.

Now on to my actual point... This is the second episode that Blair has worn this key pendant and it looks like we've found a winner - it's from the Tiffany Keys Collection: Fleur De Lis Key Pendant

Super cute and sparkly, right? Well, no worries everyone. It will only run you about $2975 plus tax.

No biggie, right?

Man, Tiffany's... I love you and all, but cut a girl a break, would you? I suppose it's a little bit justifiable since the entire key is covered in diamonds, but still. The Tiffany Keys Collection does have plenty of alternatives though and they start around $150 (for the pendant plus a chain) and go all the way up to $15,000 (INSANE).

Tiffany's aside, there are TONS of key pendants floating around pretty much anywhere you look. Most of mine have been found at Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, and American Eagle. I mean really... It's a key. It doesn't actually NEED to be fancy.

But if anyone would like to buy me this? I would SO not object.