Crazy Colors Reign Supreme at the Teen Choice Awards

So, the Teen Choice Awards were last night...

Yeah, I'm officially inching toward my late twenties and I still pay attention to the Teen Choice Awards. So what?

Don't judge me.

It's only okay when I judge everyone else! Well, okay, not really. But I do find it entertaining to judge celebrity fashion... mostly because with the amount of money and access to stylists they have so many of them still show up looking like hot messes. It legitimately boggles my mind.

Like... How do you look in the mirror wearing this:

And think, "Damn. I look goooooooooooooood!"

Please note the matching yellow mani-pedi Tyra got for the occasion. Yikes.

Apparently the crazy was making the rounds among the TCA attendees, cause our dear Fergie showed up lookin' like a bumble bee at a 4th of July celebration:

 

Also, since when did the 90's bleached blonde + an inch of black roots thing come back into style? Her hair looks damaged and fried and it does nothing but age her.

Know what must be pretty great, though?

Being young, gorgeous, and rich on a red blue carpet with your BFF! But, for the love of God, can somebody please tell me why there is so much extra fabric on these dresses?? I mean, clearly they were on par with whole yellow-theme of the night... But seriously. 

The sash on Selena Gomez's Erin Featherson dress is not only impractical, it just looks kinda like it was supposed to be a sash, but she forgot to tie it around her waist, no? It's also blocking the view of her adorable Brian Atwood Betsy sandals.

Way too cute to block.

And Demi Lovato's BCBG Maz Azria Lace Over Mullet dress could be really cute and fun. I suppose. If there wasn't a TAIL on it. I mean, the word "mullet" is in the name! It's not a good look for hair, so why would you put it on a dress??

I've got to hand it to her on the shoes, though.

Looks like they're custom Christian Louboutin Jenny Knotted Platform Pumps to match her dress. Basically, they're fabulous. Bonus points for those.

So, it's no secret that I'm kind of in love with Pretty Little Liars on ABC Family. It's a guilty pleasure freakin' awesome show and I basically live for slightly insane styling that happens on it. So, the Pretty Little Liar who's sanity I question the most (Aria ~ he might not be your teacher anymore but that does NOT make it legal) AKA Lucy Hale showed up in a surprisingly fun Cengiz Abazoglu Sequin Cutout dress.

And then she turned around... and this happened:

Yep. We are dangerously close to seeing ass crack.

Mildly disturbing.

Luckily for us, there were a few more angelic figures at the show to tame things down a little bit.

Rachel Bilson, I love you. Do you ever not look adorable?

Perfect hair, understated makeup, super cute Chloe Resort dress (it's actually mint green, but it's kind of hard to tell in the photos), and awesome Brian Atwood studded shoes (I can't even stand booties pretty much...ever. But I LOVE these).

I just love it all.

Can I just be you? Just for one day? Cause that would be cool. Let's arrange it, 'kay? Or, if not... Can we be friends? That would be seriously cool, too.

Hmmm. Dear Taylor Swift... Normally I think you do award shows pretty well. I'm not sure sure about this one...

Kind of awkwardly tight around the bust... Marilyn-Monroe-esque full circle...

Seems a little bit like a Vegas showgirl in a White Wedding spectacular, doesn't it? Not sure I can approve of this Rafael Cennamo dress.

I can, however, approve of the super sparkly Ranjana Khan diamond-encrusted belt.

Also, really cute Fendi bow pumps. How do I get my hands on either of these?

Oh, right. Become a multi-platinum singer/darling of America.

I'm on it.

No worries, Taylor. I love you anyway. My friend and I even saw you in concert and loved every second. Except the part where we were surrounded by thirteen year old girls and their moms. That was a little sad.

Moving on.

The awards were hosted by Kaley Cuoco. Who showed up in a lamp shade. Or bed ruffle. Maybe something in between.

Yeah... I don't really get it.

She had me from the waste up though. I think the top of the dress, as well as her hair and makeup look fantastic.

I love the undone beachy waves and the smudgy eye-makeup that makes her eyes practically glow. The pop of pink in the lip color is super fun and flattering on her.

I really do just wish her dress wasn't made of those silly layers.

Okay, I have one more outfit I need to point out from last night.

Everyone's favorite Upper East Sider, Ms. Serena Van Der Woodsen herself in Gucci Resort:

Uhm... It's orange. And leather. It's ORANGE LEATHER. And kind if ill-fitting? Girl has got a body that is literally to-die-for and this somehow... hugs it the wrong way? Maybe? I don't know. But I can't stand it.

And that is not me being jealous over the fact that she's dating Leonardo DiCaprio. I don't even care about that.

Just because I've shared a deep, meaningful connection with him ever since I first saw that floppy blonde hair and adorable grin on Growing Pains doesn't mean anything.

There is no bitterness.

I'm serious.

Okay. Whatever. Maybe a little bitterness.

But back to Blake Lively. You are a stunning girl. You're so much better than this.

P.S. Great jewelry and hair, as always.

P.P.S. Say hi to Leo for me, 'kay? Thanks!

[photo credits: justjared.buzznet.com, coolspotters.com]

A Golden Evening

The 2010 Golden Globes felt like...well, to be honest, a little bit like my prom.

There was pouring rain, deflated hair, damp hemlines, crowded tables, and the cool kids won Prom King & Queen... And way too many tacky prom dresses for me to deal with.

Oh, such fond memories...

Seriously, was it just me, or did a few people head straight to the Seventeen Magazine Prom Issue to pick out their dresses?

There were some gorgeous dresses, yes, but I found myself pretty underwhelmed by a lot of the Hollywood All Stars.

Fergie in Elie Saab. There's nothing wrong with this dress. I enjoy the color, it makes her waist look teeny-tiny, the fabric flows nicely... I'm just... Eh. I'm pretty sure her best accessory was that super-yummy husband of hers, Josh Duhamel. I'm disappointed, Fergie-Ferg.

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci with Fred Leighton jewels.

WOW, she has NO SHAPE in this dress. It just goes straight up and down and no amount of ruching, ruffles, or gratuitous bows can help. And while the color is very pretty, I don't think it's very pretty on her. It just blends in with her skin too much. At least her hair isn't blonde anymore. Then everything would have blended. Oy.

Cameron Diaz in Alexander McQueen and Ferragamo heels. I like the color, I like the heels, I loathe and detest the shoulder area. The cap sleeves made her look so broad on stage that I can't even remember a word she said, I was just staring at her massive shoulders. Also, how about a necklace or some nice earrings? You look boring. Even in the brightest red you could find. That's a problem.

January Jones in Lanvin, Brian Atwood heels, and Neil Lane jewels. January, darling, I love you. No, I really do. You are stunning on Mad Men. You usually make me so happy at award shows. You literally stopped the show at the 2009 Emmy Awards with your appearance on the red carpet. What is this? The shape is so...BLAH. It looks marginally better when you turn to the side and I appreciate that ruffle/bow thing you have going on... But other than that? Not feeling it. And that headband... If you had just pushed it back a little bit? It would have been SO MUCH BETTER.

Anna Kendrick in Marchesa and a Judith Leiber clutch. Let me start by saying how much I love Anna. I have loved her since she was a ruthless, part-steeling, stalker-ish, all-around-awesomely-evil teenager in Camp. I think she's adorable and can hold her own in every interview I've ever seen. Unfortunately, I think this is just way too much dress for her. Maybe the ruffle is too big, maybe the train is too long... It looks kinda heavy, too... I don't know. Whatever the case may be, I just wasn't a fan. But I still love you, Anna! I'll totally be your BFF!

Tina Fey in Zac Posen. From the waist up - adorable. The rest of it, including the giant bow shoes - WTF IS THAT? I have nothing else to say besides I hate it. Oh, and it looks like a lamp shade.

Sandra Bullock in Bottega Venetta. Congratulations on your win, Sandra, you truly deserved it. And I was almost with you on this dress. The color is stunning. You look beautiful, your hair is lovely, the makeup was very well done, and those earrings are great. But the dress itself... Why is it shiny? Why can I see you whole leg through it? Is it just a little leg-peeking-see-through? Or is the whole thing more see-through than we can tell? I like the top part, and the sheer back is cute... But this is definitely a prom dress. No doubts about it.

Alright, there you have it. My biggest disappointments of the night. What do you think?

Stay tunes for the stars that, in my humble opinion, actually got it right!

[photo credits: people.com, justjared.buzznet.com]

Touché, Nicole

I'm so happy we had our little chat about your red carpet look at the LA premiere of Nine. I mean, you've done a complete 180 in less than a week! No more suit separates and boring hair for you!

Just look at this fabulous Prada dress you went and selected for the NYC premiere.

The fit is lovely, the silhouette is fun, the flower appliqué is very appropriate... But, uhm... You kinda forgot something. The powder? Under your eyes and around your nose? You know, the kind that makeup artists typically use to ensure no eyeshadow or anything ends up under your eye? Well, that's a great little tip... But you're kinda supposed to brush the powder away once you're done with the eyeshadow. How does one miss something this obvious? Surely if your makeup was rushed, or whatever, you had to come into contact with at least one other person on your way to the premiere? Shouldn't they have warned you? No? Maybe the limo was too dark to notice or something?

I feel like this was a big miss on everyone's part. Powder tragedy aside, I love the dress. I love the hair. I love the makeup (the non-powder part, at least). Glad our little talk set you straight, darling.

You were not the only one that had a fabulous night, though.

Fergie wins the night for me. She's rockin' the Grecian goddess look like no other. I cannot even find a descriptive word appropriate enough for how much I adore this flowing Marchesa (Resort 2010 Collection) gown. The belt, the clutch, the stunning Chopard diamond cuff? Seriously made of awesome. I think that Fergie often looks very harsh, but that's not the case here. The soft waves and makeup fit perfectly. Major win. Major.

Another vision in white was Oscar winner, Marion Cotillard. She looks gorgeous in a sparkling Christian Dior dress that had one of the prettiest silhouettes of the night, but I could've done without the long Chopard beads. I think it takes away from the embellishment on the front of the dress. Her hair and makeup looks beautiful, though, so I can get over it. She's also carrying a Judith Leiber clutch to complete the outfit.

Holy smokes... She looks hot. I'm really not a fan of satin dresses for the most part... But this one works. I guess when you're Penelope Cruz there are very few things that don't work for you? As gorgeous as she looks in this Chanel Couture gown, I prefer the Ralph Lauren gown she wore to the LA premiere.

Kate Hudson, looking...interesting in Chanel Couture (Fall 2009 Collection) brought her mom, Goldie Hawn in Christian Dior (Spring 2008 Collection) as her date. How cute are they? I'm not in love with either outfit, but Goldie is one of my favorite people. I'll forgive her just about anything. Even that fur thing.

Okay, so everyone has been raving about this structured Marchesa dress on Naomi Watts, but I just don't like it. I think it fits her perfectly and the color is really fun... But I still don't like it. Great shoes, though! I also think she could have stepped it up with her hair and makeup... It looks way too casual for this event.

Which premiere do you think was better? NYC or LA?

[photo credtis: celebutopia.com, dailymail.co.uk, neonlimelight.com, justjared,buzznet.com]