Sex and the Seriously Lame: Part II

Oh.Em.Gee! Guess what, everyone! I have THE BEST news for you!

Remember that atrocious poster for the new Sex and the City 2 movie? Where Carrie was wearing an awful white dress from Forever 21?

Well, as it turns out, it's not from Forever 21! In fact, it's from the all new "affordable" line from Halston, dubbed Halston Heritage.

Color. Me. Abso-freakin-lutely. Thrilled.

I'm sorry, it STILL looks like it's from Forever 21. What's with that weird slit in the front? And the flannel-shirt style curved hems on the sides? Ridiculous.

It's officially called the "V-Neck Jersey" dress and it retails for an "affordable" $325.

How much? For THAT? Someone has lost their mind. Oh my god. Just go to Forever 21 and you'll probably find an exact duplicate for about $30.

Let's talk about the rest of the outfit for a moment, shall we?

On top of the trashtastic dress, she's got on:

Lmited edition Mykita & Bernhard Wilhelm Franz shades, $525.

That necklace is by Solange Azagury-Patridge. It can be yours for the super-steal price of $198,200. Chump change, right?

Here's a closeup:

Almost $200K for that? Maybe it's just a really bad picture, but it looks a little bit like...a Leggo necklace that a preschooler might make. Maybe I just don't get it.

Next up, Christian Louboutin Pigalle Gold Crystal pumps - I can't seem to find an official price anywhere, but if eBay can be believed at all, it seems they retail for about $3,100.

They're cute and all... But $3,100? They'd better take me out to a fancy dinner, spring for the vintage Cristal, and bring me a gift - preferably one that sparkles and comes in a little blue box tied with a white bow.

Let's not forget her fabulous gold clutch from Chanel. I'm not sure of the price, but I doubt it's any less than $2,000.

The fun isn't over yet, though. It gets even better! Halston Heritage is responsible for another one of Carrie's outfits in the film, though at least this one isn't nearly as bad.

This is the Metallic-Stripe Dress and if I'm being honest, I don't hate it. I think it's kinda fun, actually. I like the way it flows and it looks like it could be very forgiving for those without Sarah Jessica Parker's size nothing figure. It's definitely a great color, too.

Still not sure it's worth the $435 price tag, though. And I like it better when it's styled with that white belt like Carrie has on.

And just for kicks, here's the rest of Carrie's outfit:

Jee Vice - Heated orange sunglasses - $170 (Eh...I'm not impressed. And I hate the color.)

Christian Louboutin (shocker!) Gino T-Strap heels - $865 (I love these!)

Christian Louboutin - Large Sylvia Hobo in pink - $1,795 (This bag is way too big, even for me!)

So there you have it. The mystery is solved. No more fretting that our beloved Carrie has suddenly started shopping at all those normal stores like the rest of us. Rest assured that she's still living the high life with Big.

All is well in Sex and the City Land.

[photo credits: neimanmarcus.com, ugc.dhingana.com, fanpop.com, videogum.com, patriciafield.com, redcarpet-fashionawards.com]

Sex and the Seriously Lame

Carrie on? Really?

Are you Tim Gunn?

This is quite possibly the most ridiculous teaser poster I've ever come across. I mean... CARRIE ON? Is this "Taglines 101" or something?

I tolerated it when the first movie used "Get Carried Away."

Alright, I thought to myself, it's okay... Carrie is a fan of puns. They're trying to be cute. I get it. Carrie kinda looks like she's about to get carried away...the look on her face, the grin, it's all working for me. The dress was fab, the windblown hair was fun, the black and pink theme was hot...

But Carrie On? I just... I don't approve.

And, I have a few questions.

Why does Carrie look surprised? Why does her neck look as if it has sprouted two or three extra inches since the last time we saw her? Why does it look like Manhattan is exploding in a sea of white light behind her? Why do her sunglasses have a weird gold reflection of the sky? If she's walking down the street in the city, shouldn't the reflection be other people? Or buildings? Anything besides the sky, considering she's in the middle of a skyscraper-filled city?

Why is she wearing a dress from Forever 21? Not that there is anything wrong with Forever 21 because there absolutely is not. I shop there all the time, but for a Sex and the City poster? They could have done better. Much, much better. The whole damn point of the show is the fashion. I have no problem with mixing and matching high and low end items, but not on a poster that is supposed to make me want to see this movie. Not on a poster that is supposed to represent the next installment of a series that made Manolo Blahnik a household name.

And what the hell is she carrying on? Life? Marriage? Babies? Snarky columns about about being single in the city? Oh, wait, NONE OF THEM ARE ACTUALLY STILL SINGLE!

So, what then? Do you have any idea? Cause I sure don't...

No? I didn't think so.

LAME.

[photo credits: storybookwedding.files.wordpress.com, www.huffingtonpost.com]

A Lovely Premiere

I am so excited for the premiere of The Lovely Bones! I'm really hoping they don't completely ruin one of my favorite books of all time... But I have high hopes. I trust Peter Jackson as a director and there's quite a cast - Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon, Stanley Tucci, Mark Wahlberg, and one of the youngest Academy Award nominees, Saoirse Ronan.

The film recently had it's LA premiere recently and there were some...interesting choices. And that's putting it nicely.

First we have the lovely Rachel Weisz.

Helllllooooo shiney Pantene hair! I really like the simple makeup look she's got going on. Soft eyes, almost nude cheeks, and that great red lip. Makeup artist, Kara Yoshimoto Bua from Chanel is responsible and here is the product breakdown.

• Lips - Rouge Allure in Dragon
• Eyes - Quadra Eye Shadow in Murano & Inimitable Mascara in Noir Black
• Cheeks - Blush Duo Tweed Effect in Tweed Rose

How gorgeous is this ice blue dress? It's from Valentino (I know...you're SHOCKED that I love it, aren't you?) She's also got some fabulous accessories - Tiffany & Co jewels, seriously enviable Roger Vivier heels, and a Judith Leiber clutch.

She looks fun and flirty and way younger than her years. Plus... Have you seen those legs? Damn. If you got 'em, flaunt 'em. I approve.

This one's a win, Rachel. Definitely a win.

Next up - the film's young star, Saoirse Ronan.

How stunning do her eyes look? The hair and makeup is very old Hollywood glamour and is it just me, or is she channeling Cate Blanchett? I wholeheartedly approve.

I do not, however, approve of her gold Zac Posen gown.

Or those...atrocious, flesh-toned, peep-toe, lace-up booty-things. WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVER WEAR THOSE? Ugh. They scare me. And the dress... It's just...

I don't know. The word "frock" comes to mind. That's really all I can think of to say. I don't hate it... In theory. There's just something really off about it.

Two thumbs down, honey. Better luck next time.

Moving on. How about one of the other young actresses in the film - Rose McIver.

Uhm... No. I am not a fan. The center part is too harsh. The makeup is...eh. And the Ani Lee dress is... boring (even if it's really short). I really don't like that length of dress on her and the shoes... The combination of the two just cuts off her leg in a really unflattering way. She's such a pretty girl, she could do so much better.

Next on the roster - Nikki Soohoo.

No. just no. I don't even understand that...thing. It's like... A nude tank top with a...tutu. Made of silver fans. The sheer black nylons and black shoes just make it look like a Vegas showgirl costume. And the hair? Honey, if you're going to go for that look, at least make sure you're bangs are thick enough, cut straight across the bottom, and lay flat against your forehead. This? This is not pretty. At all. But on the plus side? Your lips look fabulous. Thumbs up on that one.

Last up, we have the singing sibling duo of Aly & AJ Michalka (AJ is actually in the film) of 78violet.

Here's AJ:

Hmm... The two-tone hair is very Jamie Lynn Spears at prom - the style is cute, but the color is throwing me off. And, actually, the whole look is very prom queen. And oh my god, lay off the bronzer! Orange is not a skin color found in nature. It's just not.

I don't hate the dress, but I would like it a lot more if it was short. Maybe cut it off after that second tier and make it a cute mini-dress and throw on some killer heels?? This girl is young, she can pull it off!

I have to give her points for seriously out-dressing her sister, though. Aly dropped the ball on this one.

What is this? Are you trying to look about 40 years old? Too much makeup, that orangy-pearly lipstick is awful, and again with the two-tone prom hair... What the hell? And why are you wearing a frock? At least Saoirse's "frock" was way more interesting. This is just... Little-girl-playing-dress-up ugly.

Alright. There you have it. My take on the Lovely Bones LA premiere.

What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Are you as excited for the movie as I am? Do you love the book, too? Let me know, everyone!

[photocredits: justjarejr.buzznet.com, popsugar.com]

No, I mean she's actually evil. Not just high school evil.

Well, Amanda Seyfried would be the one to know, wouldn't she? After all, as a full fledged member of The Plastics (the one who was convinced that her breasts could predict the weather) she certainly brought the uber-evil to high school. But apparently this time around, Amanda is playing the good girl. Who just so happens to share a girl-on-girl kiss with her actually-evil-not-just-high-school-evil-BFF-Jennifer to save her small town...or something like that.

I don't really get the point of Jennifer's Body aside from the fact that it's the latest creation from Diablo Cody, Academy Award winner for her Juno screenplay. I guess that is supposed to be reason enough for everyone to be excited about it. I think it's really just... An amusing concept that once again takes a look at the perils of high school and twists them into a horror movie. With really hot girls. That kiss.

They also have a promotional poster that is definitely bordering on copyright infringement due to its serious resemblance to the True Blood poster.

I have to admit, though, there are some pretty funny lines in the trailers I've seen.

Needy: "You're killing people??"

Jennifer: "No. I'm killing boys."

Come on. That is freakin' great. But I'm concerned that they may have used up all the good moments for those clips, and there might not be anything else to do during the rest of the movie except watch Megan Fox act.

Now... I'm not going to judge her. I actually kinda like Megan Fox. I can't say a word about her acting skills because Transformers isn't exactly a testament to anyone's acting skills, but I can say with certainty that the girls knows how to look good. I know a lot of people think she's crazy or vapid or just stupid, but I kind of like the fact that she has no filter in interviews. I think she speaks her mind and tells it like it is (however ridiculous it may sound) and if she's not afraid to look ridiculous and crazy then all the more power to her. Do I agree with most of the stuff she says? Definitely not. The girl is kinda nutso. Do I think she's one of the most beautiful girls out there? Yes, I really do.

Just look at her from the premiere of Jennifer's Body at the Toronto Film Festival.

I think she looks stunning in that gorgeous Valentino dress and ankle-strap Louboutins (hellooooo legs that go on for days - unfair!). The glamorous old-Hollywood hair, glowing skin, and smokey/shimmery eyes look amazing. Actually, I think she consistently looks lovely and I'm definitely harboring a little bit of a girl-crush on her.

I'm also seriously jealous of that gorgeous hair. In case the pictures above don't quite do it for you, here are few of my other favorite looks:

Simply en fuego, no? Ugh. We should all be so lucky.

[photo credits: snarkerati.com, newsgab.com, meganfoxweb.net]

You know... Your mood swings are kinda giving me whiplash.

I decided pretty early on that I was going to try to keep my inner Twilight-fan from taking over this blog and so far it hasn't been too difficult. I even promise to ignore my natural instinct and refrain from giving you anything like an RPATTZ photo of the day (even though that would be HOT), but once in a while things are going to slip by.

Kind of like today. If you're a fan of the books or the movie or even just enjoy amusing parodies, you definitely need to check out The Hillywood Show. Right now. Seriously. Their Twilight video is absolutely hysterical. Come on. There is organized choreography. It's FABULOUS. I'm telling you. Just trust me!

Actually, even if you're not a Twilight fan, all of their stuff is pretty awesome. And for technical "non-professionals" the quality of their videos is amazing. Sisters Hannah and Hillary Hindi, as well as the rest of their cast and crew, seem like pretty cool people in general and from what I understand they are unbelievably friendly and gracious with the fans. They have Twilight director, Catherine Hardwicke, singing their praises and even the cast of the movie agrees. In fact, Jackson Rathbone (Jasper) was so entertained by the fact that the Hillywood actor playing Jasper looked so much like him that he wanted a photo with the guy.

Hannah and Hillary do just about everything for these videos. They write, act, direct, film, and edit everything themselves and do quite a remarkable job with all of it. Check out this exclusive interview, it's got a ton of fun info about the girls and their experience.

Up next for The Hillywood Show is a New Moon parody and judging by the "sneak peak" video it's going to be great. I, for one, am pretty stoked about it.

[all photo credits: the hillywood show]